"Are you going to start
doing your restaurant review thing again?"
"Probably not. The time for
sarcastic remarks about Indian restaurants and mudslinging at Heaven has
probably passed. Time to let the new blood take the reins"
And the new blood are a rather
serious bunch. Check out the Living in Kigali website, which gives you practical advice about
restaurants. They tell you useful things like prices and how clean the toilets
are, like in a proper restaurant review.
"Besides, I'd feel obliged
to go and review 'Mickey Mouse' in Kimihurura. Can you imagine the indignity of
going to such a place?"
The truth is: my laptop (and a
half a dozen pre-written reviews) - was stolen, my life got busy; I moved house twice (am now a resident
of Colombo) and worked in some other places that are hard to find on the
map. I'm not sure I still have it in me
to plunge into my deep and poisoned well of misanthropy to find mean things to
say about restaurants.
But feck it. Why not eh?
-----------------------
Le Chateau
According to the drunken Belgian
owner of Le Chateau in Nyarutarama, I am a "Shitting fack". After identifying
this fairly obvious character flaw, he gave me a $10 bottle of imported Kwak,
invited The Dude to kiss him on the lips, and offered to take the Young
Ambassador out for some "sexy dancing".
Pork chops come with thyme or
rosemary depending on which menu translation you read, but arrive at the table
with neither. Not that additional herbage would have helped much, as eating
said pork chops was an experience akin to being repeatedly struck in the face
with a greasy leather belt. And I don't mean that in a good way.
The Young Ambassador had
something resembling a pizza that had been left out in the rain, The Dude some
flaccid pasta, and The Surfer a Deathstar-grey chunk of beef ring-piece. Our
table's sense of disappointment was overshadowed only by our collective awe as
we were dazzled by the Belgian's tour de force display of swearing ("fack,
fack, shitting shit fack") and his subsequent spiral into a silent vin
triste, swaying from side to side and staring vacantly into the middle distance
like an undergraduate with meningitis.
Avoid Le Chateau.
Le Chateau
+250 785 823 772
Nyarutarama, along the road
adjacent to the golf course
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